Toddler Creed

  1. 40739_440189618859_7599956_nWhen in doubt, brute force is the answer.
  2. What’s mine is mine, what’s yours is mine. Anything I see is mine, even if I haven’t seen it yet.
  3. Randomly yelling “NO!!” is therapeutic, even if someone wasn’t talking to you.
  4. “No” is the answer for all questions. Always.
  5. Mommy & Daddy can read minds.
  6. Food is discretionary.  Have Mommy make a meal and only eat one bite.
  7. Better yet, just look at the food. Don’t touch it.
  8. No, no. Touch it by flinging it across the room. Watch it fly!!!
  9. Or taste everything.
  10. Then spit it out.
  11. Then smear it all over the floor, the walls, clothes and TV. Woo-Hoo!
  12. New toys are great, but only in someone else’s house. Once the same toy is at home, don’t play with it.
  13. Call out for Mommy every 2 minutes. Even if you don’t need her. Just make sure she is there. Keeps her on her toes.
  14. The second you see an adult close their eyes, jump on them.
  15. Repetition is the key to getting what you want. Just keep asking. They’ll cave.
  16. Sleep is unnecessary. Fight it all the way. Unless you are in the car for a really short journey. Then it’s perfect.
  17. Getting dressed is a game. See how quickly Mommy will chase you.
  18. Nothing gets their attention faster than poop.
  19. Screaming is valid form of communication. The louder the better.
  20. When all else fails, run.

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